


From the Shadow

by idrilhadhafang, MidgardianNerd



Series: Rey-Write AUs [6]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn’t Turn To The Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, Hate to Love, Jedi Poe Dameron, M/M, Slow Burn Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Smuggler Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-03 18:39:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14575164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/pseuds/MidgardianNerd
Summary: Poe Dameron and Luke Skywalker are sent on a very important mission for Leia. Poe definitely didn’t count on getting embroiled in terrible revelations — or falling in love.





	1. On the Wrong Foot

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The day that Luke and Poe left Yavin IV was on Leia’s request. She needed all the help that they could get against the presence looming in the Unknown Regions, something that she had just labeled as a presence. She hadn’t identified it yet, but she knew it as just a presence. Something that needed to be stopped. And they needed all the help they could get.

Han Solo had volunteered his services. He had a son, apparently, twenty-three years old, who helped him on his smuggling runs. If anything, they would need all the help they could get.

And this was no exception.

***

Han Solo was sixty-one years old, but it was clear that he hadn’t lost his touch. Even in his old age, there was still a certain spark in his eyes that suggested the Han Solo that had fought with the Rebellion long ago. The young man next to him meanwhile, was a contrast to Han, black-haired and brown eyed where Han was lighter haired, and shyer and more withdrawn where Han was clearly more outspoken. Poe could feel the Force radiating off this young man, and he seemed almost surly.

So this was Han’s son Ben. Already, Poe had a feeling that he was disappointed.

“Ben.” Luke said.

“Uncle.” Ben’s voice was deep, and in that moment, venomous.

Luke seemed to flinch before saying, “I see you still haven’t grown up.”

“Grown up? Me?” Ben sounded affronted. “Does growing up imply I have to be completely fine with your presence on our ship?”

Poe spoke up. “Don’t talk to Luke like that.”

“Stay out of it.”

And even the way he was just dismissed, just like that, was enough to make Poe flinch. He supposed he should have seen it coming, but still...

Han spoke up in that moment. “Look, why don’t we just get going?”

Ben seemed to relax a bit in that moment before saying, “Fine by me. I don’t want to spend any more time with these two than I have to.”

By the time Poe got on the Falcon, he was already irritated, to say the least. Who did that man think he was? Probably the prince of his own little galaxy. How could anyone treat their own uncle like that?

Poe didn’t know. He just hoped that he wouldn’t have to deal with Ben after that long Falcon ride.

At any rate, this would be the longest ride he ever had.

 

 


	2. Trouble is their second name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While everybody is hoping for a peaceful cohabitation, Force decides otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Idrilhadhafang to have edit this chapter. She has been wonderful and supporting me all along this chapter.

“Are you fine?” asked a grumpy voice to his left.

“Yes.” grumbled back Ben.

“Good. So stop mangling this poor button.” answered Han, pushing Ben’s hand away from the button. 

 

Ben huffed, a little bit vexed before collapsing in the seat to the right of his father, crossing his arms on his chest. He looked at his father who was looking at the blackness of space in front of them. Ben sighed. He didn’t want to feel like this. He didn’t want to act like a brat. This boy, Poe, did nothing to him but Luke always has been able to push Ben’s buttons and make of him someone he didn’t like. Ben knew he disappointed his father and he didn’t want that. He wanted for his father to be proud of him. He wanted to prove to his father that he could be trusted with his own emotions. 

 

“Hey kid!” called Han, finally looking at him and Ben turned towards him. He felt instantly better when he saw his father’s smile. “I know you don’t like to have them in our ship.” 

 

Ben felt his heart warming when Han said  _ our ship _ and his anger for Luke died. Even if Luke got vexed when Ben refused to follow him to becoming a Jedi, it wasn’t mattering. Because Ben chose this life. He chose to be a smuggler, like his father. And his father was loving having him there, with him, doing this stuff he was as good as him to do. He offered a shy smile to Han and his father smiled back.

 

“Believe me! I’m not exactly thrilled to have him here too.” said Han and Ben could heard how much his father was still holding grudge against Luke, after all these years. 

“He is still your friend.” mumbled Ben. “Having him there, it must remind you all these good old times.” 

 

* * *

 

Han sighed. Ben heard all the adventures Leia, Luke, Chewie, Lando and he lived in the Falcon. He grew up with them, he cherished them. Han always found an opportunity to tell them to people; in cantinas, with Chewie’s family or when they were visiting Lando. Sure, Han was loving all these memories and sure he was cherishing them, sometimes regretting how much things were simpler in these times, when he only had his and Chewie’s safeties to worry about and not Ben’s too. He was loving his son. More than anything in the world, Leia included. But being a father was terrifying. And not only just at the birth of his son. Han was terrified for the last twenty-three years, he was always scared for Ben. 

When Luke said he would take Ben far away from them to bury this darkness in his boy, Han refused it immediately. Far away from him, Han would have been unable to protect Ben. And no, Han wasn’t trusting Luke with Ben. Not since Ben showed his first signs to be a strong Force-sensitive. Because Luke forgot that Ben was his nephew. He just saw that Ben was the new generation of the Jedi and that Ben should act like it, and not like the child he was. When Ben refused to follow him, Han had never been prouder in his life and he was alongside Ben, fighting against Luke and Leia, his old allies to save his new one. Now Ben was with him, had been for the last seven years and Han couldn’t remember a time in his life when he had been happier. 

 

“I’m not forgetting the past.” said Han, looking in Ben’s big brown eyes to make him understand, still amazed at how deep they were. “But I’m living in the present. And I’m more thrilled for the future.” he added, winking. 

 

Ben threw him the most beautiful grin, this dorky smile that Han promised to protect with everything he had. 

 

“It will be just for a few hours. Few days at worst.” said Han and Ben nodded. “After that, I promise you. It will just be you and me. Like it used to be.” 

“And Uncle Chewie?” asked Ben and Han couldn’t help to laugh, adoring how much his boy was loving his best friend. 

“And Uncle Chewie.” nodded Han. “Lando said he maybe has a job for us.” added Han, nonchalantly, knowing how much Ben was loving smuggling. 

“Hope it will be better than the last time.” snarked Ben.

“I wouldn’t be so optimistic with your uncle.” answered Han, amused. 

“A shame.” sighed Ben. “At least I will win a new droid.” he added and Han laughed with all his heart, remembering how Lando lost playing sabaac against Ben last time and how Ben chose a little astromech droid which was taking dust in Lando’s collection as his reward. The boy was still working on it to fix it, explaining to his father how the BB-unit would be helpful to them for the Falcon in the future. 

“You thought he would have learn to play Sabacc since all this time.” said Han wryly, sharing a wink with his son.

“If he didn’t do it after the Falcon, he will never do it.” Ben said, smirking.

“A shame.” they both said, before laughing, Han messing his son’s hair with one hand. 

 

* * *

 

Poe was sitting on the floor, legs crossed. His master was front of him, in the same position and both were trying to meditate, to let go in the Force all these negative feelings from their meeting with the Solo boy.  _ Trying _ was the key word. Because it was actually difficult to focus with all these laughs being heard at the other end of the Falcon. Poe frowned, trying to mute them but it was like his mind couldn’t obey to him anymore, deciding he wanted to hear all these strong displays of joy. It has been so long since the last time Poe heard so heartful laughs. 

At the temple, you had to always be in control of your emotions, negative and positive ones. Poe and the other students weren’t often sharing more than chuckles before their master reminded them to act like a Jedi should. The first years, it has been difficult for Poe, being such a cheerful person, but now he was proud to say he mastered the art of being always in control. Except when it came to Ben Solo apparently.

In few minutes, the boy managed to break Poe’s self-control so easily that it was frightening Poe a little bit. And he knew that he disappointed his master, not being better than Solo and just entering in a petty argument with him. He could feel his master’s disappointment every time he breathed. Luke wasn’t even trying to hide it, wanting for Poe to fully get it so he could not act like that again, knowing the punishment waiting for him. He got out of his thoughts when he felt Luke berating him through the Force and Poe focused back with all his will to mute every exterior noise. He almost succeeded when all the ship shook, throwing Luke and Poe against the closest wall. 

 

* * *

 

When he entered in the cockpit, following Master Luke, Poe could see that Han was already working fast to get them out of here while his son was standing up on his seat, looking through the glass, searching obviously for something. 

 

“What happened?” asked Luke, grabbing Han’s chair to stabilize himself while Poe was doing the same with his son’s chair. 

“Oh! We’re obviously throwing our guests against the wall for fun!” snarked Han. “What do you think we’re doing, Luke?” he added, annoyed. “Someone attacked us!”

“Why?” asked Luke and the Solos looked at him, silently asking him if he was serious and Poe was almost tempted to do the same. 

“Like I know.” growled Han while his son was going back to look outside, trying to see their enemies. “Do you see them?” asked Han to Ben. 

“They’re hiding behind us.” answered Ben, in the same annoyed tone than his father and Poe wondered how many times this kind of stuff happened to them, seeing how almost not worried they were. 

 

The com link made some noise and four men looked at it, waiting for it to speak. 

 

“ _ SOLO!”  _ screamed the comlink with a strong accent and both men sighed, probably recognized who was talking. 

“We’re in trouble!” groaned Ben, slightly hitting his forehead against the wall before sitting back in his chair. 

Han looked at his son, a spark of mischief in his eyes and Ben tried to convince him to not do what he wanted to do with a glance. But his father winked to him before smirking, ready to talk in the comlink. Poe didn’t understand a single bit of what happened between both men but it looked like they were able to communicate without talking, like some Masters and Padawans were. It was kind of fascinating to see that outside the Jedi Order. 

 

“Here’s the legendary Han Solo. Who’s asking?” asked Han, taking a unusual joyful tone and Ben tried to not laugh to not give more reasons to his father to play the smartass. 

“ _ You and your son tried to rip us off.”  _ answered the man at the other end of the comlink, venomous. 

“It’s not our fault. It’s so easy to scam Kanjiklub.” added Ben and Han chuckled, amused while Poe could feel Luke becoming annoyed at the Solo play. 

“ _ SOLO! _ ” screamed again their interlocutor.

“Yes?” answered both men, fakely innocent. 

 

Poe bit down his lower lip, trying to not laugh and to disappoint even more Master Luke. But now, it was difficult because he could understand what people meant when they were talking about the Solo charm. And even if Poe had a rough start with Ben, he could admit that the boy got it from his father. 

 

“ _ You’re dead!”  _ spat out the other man before cutting the com. 

“He is talking about you.” said Ben, nonchalant, while already working on the lever to get them out of reach of their enemies.

“Excuse me?” huffed Han, clearly offended. “He is talking about _ you _ .” he added, doing the same that his son, both of them clearly used to work in synchronization and Poe couldn’t tear his eyes off their hands, clearly envious. It was so long since he flew for the last time. “You’re the one who came with this idea.” said Han. 

“I thought my idea was the greatest idea ever.” snapped back Ben. “That’s what you said.” he added, throwing an offended look to his father.

“It was.” answered Han. “Until now.” 

“COULD YOU ACT LIKE ADULTS FOR A SECOND?” berated Luke, visibly reaching the end of his patience. 

 

Both Solo men looked at him, not impressed while Poe looked down, feeling bad to have enjoyed the banter between them when he should have focused on the critical situation they had to face. Han was apparently not pleased to have someone giving him orders in his own ship and the young Jedi feared a new fight would happen, this time between the two old men. He was apparently not the only one to think that because Ben stood up. 

 

“I’m going to the shooting station.” he said to his father. It took few seconds but Han looked at him and nodded.

“Alright. I will have us out of there.” answered the old man. 

 

Ben brushed against Poe, his whole face closed and his eyes burning with determination. He was so different than few moments ago, while he was bantering with his father or this morning, when he was ready to fight them. The boy was not entirely focused on his task and Poe wondered how many times he lived this kind of situations to not be scared. Because Poe always thought yourself to be brave but he never truly faced danger, the few missions he did outside the Jedi Temple were all diplomatic; he never truly fought against someone who wanted him dead. So yes, he was a little bit scared. 

Poe could hear Ben running in the corridor of the ship and he focused on that, trying to quiet down his fear. Fear wasn’t good. Jedi weren’t afraid. 

 

“Kid!” said Han and both Luke and Poe looked at him but Han showed to Poe that he was talking to him. “Sit there and help me! I will need your hands to get out of this trap.” explained the old man and Poe obeyed, sitting in the seat than Ben left few minutes ago. 

“I should help you Han! Poe isn’t used to fly.” explained the old Master and Poe tried to hide his disappointment, ready to get out of the chair and give it to Luke.

“I knew his mother Luke!” groaned Han. “I can’t believe that Shara Bey didn’t teach her son how to fly.” he added, looking at Poe, his eyes sweeter than Poe ever saw him. Poe felt his heart missing a heartbeat. He didn’t know that Han knew his mother. It was so long since someone talked about her and Poe didn’t realize until now how he missed it. “Am I wrong boy?” asked Han, lifting an eyebrow.

“No Sir!” answered Poe, feeling the disappointment coming from his master but not caring for the moment. 

 

He put his hand on the lever front of him, feeling the old sensation of a ship vibrating under his hand thrilling. 

 

“ _ Dad _ !” said Ben through the comlink. “ _ I’m in position.” _

“Alright kiddo!” answered Han. “Now, shoot them!” he added, letting a predatory grin taking over his lips. 

 

Poe didn’t truly get everything happening after that. He remembered the whole Falcon shaking every time their enemies were shooting at them. Han was flying like an expert, using every possibility he could find in their environment to give to his son the best shooting range. And Ben was using all of them, not stopping to shoot on the two ships following them, obviously faster than the old Corellian freighter. Poe obeyed at every order General Solo gave him, trying to be efficient. Suddenly, there was a fluctuation in the Force, presences there before disappearing in a second. Then, he could hear a scream of joy in the comm and Han laughed. 

 

“ _ We got them _ !” cheered up Ben.

“You did great, kiddo!” said Han, grinning. “You too Dameron!” added Han and Poe nodded quietly, feeling still uncomfortable from the Force changes around him, realizing now that he felt the death of their enemies. “Get back here Ben! We have to check the Falcon.” 

“ _ Sure, Captain _ !” answered Ben before turning off the link.

 

Han got out of his seat and was already passing front of Luke to join back his son when the old Master grabbed his arm. 

 

“You killed them!” accused Luke, throwing a judging glance to his old friend.

“Don’t play the innocent, Luke!” groaned Han. “You also have a lot of deaths on your conscience.” he added, before taking off his arm from Luke’s grip.

 

Poe swallowed hard, feeling like an intruder in such a conversation. Luke Skywalker was a hero from the old war, of course he killed people but surely it was more acceptable than these deaths, right? At least, that what the Jedi Code taught them. But Poe couldn’t feel truly sorry for the men who just got killed. They...they just defended themselves. Surely the Force was okay with that. Poe could think more about this tricky question because the Falcon shook again and threw them in the wall while the whole cockpit screamed in lights and sirens. 

Han ran back to his seat, trying to reach Ben through his com. The boy answered immediately. 

 

“Ben! You need to check-” began Han but his son cut him off.

“ _ I’m already on my way!”  _ answered Ben and Poe could see a proud smile on Han Solo’s lips. 

 

While Ben was checking the mechanic engines of the old ship, Han was trying to stabilize the ship which was waving from left to right in erratic moves, throwing pain in Poe’s arm when he hit the wall again. Few minutes later, the com crackled back to life. 

 

“ _ Dad!”  _

“I’m listening.” answered Han.

“ _ The hyperdrive is dead.”  _ said Ben, sighing. “ _ And it burned everything around it.”  _ he added and Han sighed. 

“Alright.” answered Han, already trying to find a solution. 

“ _ Dad! We need to land on the closest planet or we will crash!”  _ said Ben and Han nodded, even if Ben couldn’t see him.

“I’m working on it.” said Han. “Now come up again and fasten you to the closest seat. It will be a turbulent landing.” 

 

Han ordered to Luke and Poe to do the same and for once, Luke obeyed without complaining. 

 

“Alright, boy!” said Han, looking at Poe. “I will need you to do everything I’m telling you to do. Understood?” 

“Yes Sir!” answered Poe. 

 

The ship was falling fast towards the closest planet. Once they entered in the atmosphere of the planet, Poe could see white everywhere, almost making him blind due to all the light reflecting on it. Han managed to put the Falcon in parallel with the ground and with Poe’s help, they landed on it, the ship shaking hard and hitting hard the ground before sliding on it. Poe couldn’t see anything more because a deep red dust was soon surrounding the ship. That was why Han didn’t see the ravine front of them. Han screamed to everybody to hold on and after long seconds of falling, the ship crashed on the ground, finally slowing down. 

Poe felt the crash vibrating in all his bones and the other members of the cockpit probably felt the same because he could hear them grumbling with pain. Once the dust came down, Poe could see that they were stuck between two cliffs of deep red crystals, the light of the sun barely reaching them. 

 

“Poe! Are you alright?” asked Luke.

“Yes, Master!” answered the young man. 

“Ben!” exclaimed Han, undoing his belt fast before running outside the cockpit. 

 

Both other men imitated him and followed him, Poe praying that the young man wasn’t hurt. When they entered in the room where Ben was, Han was knelt front of him, undoing the belt of his son. 

 

“I’m okay Dad!” mumbled Ben, indulging his father to check with his hands if everything was alright. 

 

The young man seemed to have take harder the crash because he stood up on shaken legs and his face was still hidden behind his long black hair. He threw an arm around his father’s shoulders and Han helped him to walk to Poe and Luke, the young man obviously worried for him, feeling his pain through the Force. When he looked up to offer a reassuring smile to his father, Poe saw blood coming from his hair on his forehead. 

 

“You’re bleeding!” gasped the young Jedi and the young man looked confused at Poe, wondering if he was talking to him. 

 

Ben touched his forehead before breathing out in surprise, then he collapsed against his father. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr: @midgardiannerd


	3. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe argue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Special thanks to MidgardianNerd for her suggestions for the ending!

Apparently, according to Luke, he had been there before. Crait the planet was called, he explained even as they took Ben to an old Imperial outpost to get some form of medical treatment. Even looking down at the young man in Han’s arms, Poe couldn’t help but be struck by his beauty, the pale, smooth skin that seemed almost like marble. The black hair that fell around his face. He looked almost fragile in Han’s arms, a stark contrast from his first impression of him.

They got to the Outpost, and Han sighed. “You,” he said to Poe, “Take care of Ben. I’ll be back; I just need to check on the Falcon.”

Poe nodded.

Luke stood up. “I’m going to scout the planet,” he said. “There’s probably some hyperdrive parts we’ll need.”

They left, leaving Poe alone with Ben.

Ben groaned and stirred. “Where am I?”

“You’re at some old outpost,” Poe said. “I’m looking after you.” A bit wryly, “I know you’re thrilled.”

“I’m not the happiest about having you for company,” Ben said. “But I’ll manage.”

Poe chuckled a bit before rummaging around in the medical kits for supplies. There were bandages. That was a good start. And bacta. Also ice. Poe sighed. “Right,” he said. “Just hold still.”

Disinfecting and putting bacta on the wound was something that wasn’t exactly easy. But in the end, Poe managed to at least get bandages wrapped around Ben’s head. Ben sighed, looked over at Poe. “Thank you,” he said.

“No problem,” Poe said. Then, “You shouldn’t be wandering around, I’m thinking. Of course, honestly, you should be in a bacta tank, Ben...”

“It’s just a little cut,” Ben said.

“Not that little.” Poe said.

Ben was undeniably bratty at times, but honestly, he could also be undeniably endearing — and even if he was annoying through and through, it didn’t mean that Poe was going to go over the line. He wasn’t going to deny an injured man medical attention. That wasn’t how things worked.

“Thank you,” Ben said.

“No problem.”

So it looked like they were going to be stuck here for a while. What was he going to say to someone he had pretty much written off as a brat?

Ben looked at him, almost like he was just as confused as anything, actually. Then, “So...it looks like we’re stuck here. For the time being.”

“Luke and your father will fix the ship soon enough,” Poe said. “And then we’ll be on our way.”

“I hope.”

Irritation prickled in Poe despite himself. Then, “You just want to get rid of Luke and me, don’t you?”

“Mostly Luke.”

“Why? What did he do to you? I mean, if I had an uncle like Luke Skywalker, I would consider myself the luckiest man in the galaxy...”

“Would you?” Ben said, carefully.

There was something about the way that he spoke that had...something underlying the surface.

Ben continued. “Would you really consider yourself lucky? He said that he ‘sensed’ Darkness in me at a young age. That I needed to have it controlled. And don’t give me that look, Poe — I’m not Dark. You’re not Dark. And contrary to what the Jedi think, the galaxy isn’t split into good people and Dark Siders. For people who say only a Sith deals in absolutes, they could stand to take their own advice.”

“Well, of course not.” Poe said. “But without training, you won’t know how to control your powers, will you?”

Ben looked at him, almost stonily, for a long time. Then, “Why did you join the Jedi?”

“Well,” Poe said, “It was after my mother died. Luke offered to train me. He’s trained me ever since.”

“But your father...”

“It was for the best!”

“Did Luke tell you that?” And there was something about the way that it was just Luke, and not Uncle Luke, that was enough to hurt Poe thinking about it.

“What business is it of yours anyway?”

“He did, didn’t he? I bet you’re Luke Skywalker’s number one fan.”

“I — ’’

Ben continued. “Worshipping the ground he walks on. He’d disappoint you if you knew who he really was.”

“Luke Skywalker is a good man!”

“Luke Skywalker,” said Ben. “Is a hypocritical, self-righteous creature who thinks he’s the greatest thing to walk this galaxy.”

“He — ’’

“Ask him about the Death Star sometime. It’ll show he’s not as much of a perfect angel as he thinks he is.”

“That was...” Poe paused. Was it different? At all, really?

But that had been self-defense, hadn’t it?

But was it different?

“So what you did was okay?” Poe said.

Ben sighed. “We’re doing what we can to survive,” he said. “This is no exception.”

It was later that Luke and Han returned, mercifully enough. They’d found nothing for the ship, but they would find something soon enough. Poe could only hope that they would fix it.

He didn’t know how much longer he could stay with Ben.

 

 

 


	4. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cold night provides unexpected warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Idrilhadhafang for editing this chapter.

When Han entered back in the old Outpost, he could feel that his son was uncomfortable and was trying to put himself far away from the Dameron boy. Han sighed in frustration. Did Luke make a point to teach his student how to make Ben’s life miserable? Han swore he would do everything to get them off this planet as soon as possible. Ben always had been a very empathic boy and all these negative vibes were hurting him, Han knew it did. He wanted his son to be free of this past and this family, happy, both of them travelling the galaxy with Chewie at their side. Just Ben being who he truly was and not who Luke and Leia wanted him to be. 

Han walked to his son, putting his hands on Ben’s neck to look at his face and he felt his boy relaxing in his presence. His thumbs stroked his high cheekbones and when he looked at him with these deep brown eyes, Han felt like he held the whole galaxy in his hands. 

 

“How are you feeling?” whispered Han, caressing so Ben’s hair, checking Poe’s bandage, and the boy closed his eyes, leaning his head in his father’s hands. 

“I’m good.” whispered back Ben, offering a sweet smile to his father, always feeling warm when his father had obvious displays of affection for him. Ben learnt to decipher his father’s strange way to show his love but from time to time, he liked to have to not think too much about it but just to simply enjoy it.

“Alright.” said Han, smiling, putting his arm around Ben’s shoulders. “We should go back to the Falcon.” announced the old man to everybody. 

“We should stay here.” answered Luke. 

“Do as you want, Luke.” snapped Han. “But I will not leave my boy in a place where there are too many exits and where I can’t check all of them.” he added, helping Ben to stand up, pleased to see that Ben felt already stronger than before. 

“He is right, Master!” said Poe and Han felt his frustration with Poe dying a little bit, realizing that the young man was probably more reasonable than Luke. 

 

Luke took a moment to agree and Han wondered since when Luke was this kind of drama queen, always wanting to be right or to impose his will on other people. All this Jedi stuff went to his head. Too much in Han’s opinion. 

 

* * *

 

The four men were sitting around the table in the Falcon, Han exposing an old map of Crait during the last war. They were trying to decide which outpost they should try to explore in the next day to find things to fix the Falcon. They decided to try one of them at few miles from their position, Ben and Han hoping that some old ships were taking the dust there. 

 

“Why aren’t we trying to contact General Organa?” asked Poe after few minutes. 

“We can’t.” answered Ben, still checking the map and Poe felt relieved to not hear any mockery in the deep voice of the other boy. 

“Why?” asked Poe.

“Because we didn’t kill the whole Kanjiklub.” said Han, looking at Poe. “They’re probably looking for us now and we shouldn’t give them any clue to where we are.” he added. “Alright! We’re waking up early tomorrow! You should rest.” ordered Han, turning off the holo map. 

“Sure you would have prefered for me to have kill them all now.” whispered Ben when he brushed against Poe to leave the room. 

 

Poe looked down, feeling ashamed, realizing now how his words were hurtful and cruel. Poe felt disgusted with himself. That wasn’t because he chose to be a Jedi that everybody should act following the Code. Ben made clear that the Jedi way of life wasn’t made for him. And in this moment, Poe didn’t feel like he was the most honorable of both of them. 

 

* * *

 

Poe woke up in the middle of the night, completely frozen. The coldness of the ship was so sudden and Poe was lost, this drop of the temperature so unusual for him, the young man being used to the warm weather of Yavin 4. Poe got out of the bed, his naked feet touching the floor and the cold burnt against his skin. The young Jedi wrapped the thin blanket of his bed around his shoulders and he walked outside his room, trying to find the reason of this sudden coldness. 

All the ship was freezing and dark. Walking through these empty corridors, with no noise to assure him that there was life in it, Poe felt uncomfortable. He walked fast to the central room of the ship, feeling reassured by the dull blue lights emanating from it. The young man went in the cockpit direction, wanting to see the stars. 

 

“Why is it so freezing?” grumbled Poe, steam escaping his mouth when he breathed. 

“Dad cut off the engines to preserve the energy.” grumbled a voice in the corner of the room.

 

Poe jumped from fear, turning towards the voice, his hand automatically searching for his lightsaber at his waist, and just finding an empty space. 

 

“Relax, Padawan!” said the voice he recognized as Ben’s. “I’m not your enemy, even if you feel like I am.” he added, a smirk on his lips, waving his blaster slightly to salute Poe. 

 

The young man was half-sitting, half-lying on the bench front of a circular board. The young man was buried in a big fluffy jacket, looking a lot like a Wookiee actually. Poe was ready to make a joke but he remembered that Han Solo’s best friend was a Wookiee and he probably was a big figure in Ben’s life and the young man would probably not take well any joke about the Wookiee species. 

 

“What are you doing here?” asked Poe, shifting on his feet, feeling uncomfortable under Ben’s intense gaze even if the man did like he was barely aware of Poe’s presence. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” answered Ben and Poe realized that it was the first time that the boy wasn’t hiding behind anger or sarcasm while talking to him. “So I decided to keep watch.” he added, yet waving his blaster.

“You think we’re in danger?” asked Poe, wrapping tighter the blanket around him. 

“Dunno.” mumbled the other man, shrugging. “But my old man taught me to always be prepared.” added Ben, winking and Poe felt himself blushing, praying for the darkness to hide his unexpected reaction. “And one death or two on my mind wouldn’t stop me to sleep.” said Ben, bitterly. 

 

Poe looked down, feeling guilty again at how cruel he was. And Ben had all the reasons to be angry against him. Poe always took pride in his empathy, something he inherited from his mother and not from his Jedi training. What would she think of him now? Poe sighed before walking in front of Ben and the young man looked up at him, suspicious.

 

“I’m sorry.” whispered Poe.

“What for?” asked Ben, like he wasn’t used to people asking him forgiveness. 

“What I said earlier.” answered Poe. “It was cruel.”

“I wasn’t expecting more from a Jedi.” grumbled Ben and Poe tried to quiet down his frustration at Ben’s remark. “But I wasn’t expecting you to be humble enough to realize it.” he added, softly, looking shyly to Poe, offering him a nervous smile. 

 

Poe smiled back to him, shyly. Both shared an awkward silence, experiencing peace between them for the first time since they met. Poe looked down on the board, seeing a lot of mechanical pieces spreading on it. 

 

“You’re building something?” asked Poe, curious. 

“Someone actually.” said Ben with a huge grin and Poe felt awestruck at how bright his whole face was when he was truly smiling. 

 

Ben took off a tarpaulin hiding something next to him in a spectacular move and Poe saw a little droid appearing. It was a BB-unit, white and orange and Poe found it really cute instantly and also funny, imagining this little droid rolling next to him, both of them looking so different, Ben with all these sharp angles and impressive height and the BB-unit all round and chubby and so small. The picture in his mind was really hilarious and Poe let out a chuckle. 

 

“I know, he doesn’t look great for the moment. But once I will have finish with him, he will be awesome.” rambled Ben, stroking the droid and whipping off the dust from it. 

 

Poe found really cute at how much Ben was acting, already like the droid was a real person, trying at all cost to prove to Poe that he was worth it. It was thrilling to see Ben acting so much like a kid, and Poe finally understood why Han was so protective with him. He looked so vulnerable at this moment, far away from the all stoic and snarky figure he was since Poe met him. Poe thought that he was loving this side of Ben. 

 

“I’m sure he will.” smiled shyly Poe. “You’re good at this stuff?” asked Poe, really curious now that he felt a sort of connection between them, kind of cherishing to talk with someone not much younger than him who wasn’t a Jedi. 

“Dad says I’m always better with droids than with people.” mumbled Ben, blushing in embarrassment. 

“Well! I don’t see why droids shouldn’t be as respected as people.” answered Poe and Ben looked at him with amazement. “They’re definitely more useful than a lot of them.” added the young man, a little bit bitter.

“Well, well, well!” chuckled Ben. “Finally I meet Poe Dameron.” said Ben, throwing a smirk to Poe.

“What are you meaning?” asked Poe, blushing.

“No offense. But since I met you, I just saw the perfect Luke Skywalker student.” explained Ben. “I’m glad to see he hasn’t totally indoctrinated you.” added Ben, his deep eyes looking at Poe and the young Jedi felt a little bit mesmerized by them. 

Poe crossed his arms on his chest, feeling vulnerable, like Ben was able to read his mind. And maybe he was. And maybe Poe didn’t care as much as he should. 

 

“Can I help you?” asked Poe, shyly. 

“All right.” answered Ben, surprised, after a few seconds of thought, showing the seat in front of him to Poe. 

 

Poe offered him a nervous smile before sitting front of Ben, wrapping the blanket tighter around him. Ben looked at him intensely before taking off his jacket and giving it to Poe. Poe was speechless and Ben didn’t wait for him to find back his voice because he stole the blanket from Poe’s shoulders before putting the jacket on him, using the blanket for himself. Poe slid his arms in the jacket, sighing when the warmth cuddled him when he heard a chuckle. 

 

“Thank you.” whispered Poe, blushing.

 

Ben shrugged and Poe smiled, recognizing the rude manners of Han Solo in his son. Poe grabbed the mechanical piece front of him and began to work on it, following the few instructions Ben gave him from time to time. They worked in silence for a major portion of the night and for the first time since he stepped in the Falcon, Poe really got how much this ship felt like a home.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr: @midgardiannerd


	5. A Little Unwell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a nightmare, and Poe comforts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Title from the Matchbox 20 song of the same name. I thought it was fitting. (Also, great Kylo Ren song!)

It was sometime in the morning that Ben and Poe both dozed off, and sometime in the later morning that Ben had his nightmare.

_It wasn’t a new nightmare. Not by a long shot. It was one of those nightmares where Ben was on a barren, scorched planet, with grass that seemed to be all but burnt away, his feet scraping against the scorched earth. He looked around, taking a close look at the sky, red with fire and smoke, at the trees still burning. It was then that he saw a pale face looming at him through the burning trees, glaring at him, eyes blue as a Naboo sky._

_Ben ran._

_The figure pursued, and Ben had a horrible feeling like he really, truly couldn’t run forever._

_Finally, he made his way to some sort of building. A burning building. Screams echoed from inside it, and it was then that he heard the voice._

_“Terrible, isn’t it?”_

_The figure was no longer pursuing him. Instead, a younger version of the figure was in front of him._

_Ben backed away._

_“I’m not here to hurt you. I want you to join with me.” The figure walked towards him. “The galaxy needs restructuring. You can help me. We can do so much, together...”_

_But even as Ben listened to the figure, he saw horrible things playing out in the background. His father, dying. Poe being tortured. The Hosnian system, turned to ash._

“Ben! Ben!”

Ben jolted himself awake, away from Poe’s touch on his shoulder — he had been violent in the past when others sought to wake him up from one of those nightmares. He looked around, at their work-in-progress on the BB unit, and the halls of the Millennium Falcon, and felt immediately guilty. No one else had these nightmares. Uncle Luke had tried to use evidence of Ben’s violent fits as proof that he had to be taken away and controlled, and only Dad had stood up for him. Ben was more than grateful if only for that.

He moved to the cockpit, away from Poe. Poe followed, saying, “Ben...what is it? What’s wrong?”

“Leave me alone!” Ben snapped, turning around.

He saw Poe’s eyes widen with hurt, and he felt immediately rotten. Then, “I’m sorry, Poe. I’m...not all right. That’s the problem.”

“You didn’t need to shout at me,” Poe said.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m trying to help, y’know,” Poe said. “I mean, I’m not going to refuse to help someone who needs it.”

Ben couldn’t help but be touched at that. It was so simplistic, but not in an exasperating way. It was just plain openness, untouched by the worst of the galaxy. Poe was just so innocent, and a strange sort of protectiveness came over Ben that he thought was just limited to his father and Chewie.

“Thank you,” he said.

“No problem,” Poe said. “I mean...you needed help.” A beat. “You wanna talk about it?”

Ben sighed. “I don’t know where to start.” Then, “Well, I had a nightmare. But there’s nothing wrong with me. Honest. I’m not...Dark.”

“I know you’re not, Ben,” Poe said. “I doubt there’s a genuinely Dark bone in you, and even if there was...” He took a deep breath. “The Jedi Bastila Shan said that all life was sacred, even that of a Sith Lord. I would do whatever I could to help you.”

Ben looked at him in that moment, and he couldn’t help but be touched by it. More than that, relieved. He didn’t think that Poe would actually say something like that. That anyone would say something like that, actually.

He was used to his uncle believing that there was something broken about him. Something tainted. Even in that moment, he couldn’t help but resent his uncle. His uncle thought he was so perfect. His uncle thought he was unassailable.

It was nice actually seeing some compassion from a Jedi for a change.

“You really think so?” he said.

“Honest,” Poe said. “Really.”

Ben couldn’t help but wonder. Maybe...maybe there was something else to Poe Dameron that he hadn’t thought was there before. Maybe he wasn’t like Luke. Maybe...

It was then that his father entered. “Hey,” he said. “We found a few pieces, but not enough to fix the Falcon.”

“Well, even a few is good,” Ben said. “Hopefully we’ll be on our way.”

“Yeah. Hopefully.” his father said.

His father left, and Ben turned to look at Poe. “So...I admit I don’t know much about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Well...you’re not much like my uncle.”

“Yeah, I’m curious...why do you hate him so much?”

Ben paused. Did he hate him? Hate was a strong word.

“I don’t hate him,” Ben said. “I just don’t care very much for him.”

“Well, why?”

“He was fine when I was little,” Ben said, “But as I grew older, he started seeing something...Dark in me. For no reason. I think it had to do with an imaginary friend I had.”

“So?” Poe said. “Everyone has imaginary friends at one point.”

Ben snorted. “Yeah, but my uncle doesn’t run on logic. He’s incredibly self-righteous, and he seems to think the galaxy’s split into good people and Dark Siders. What I don’t understand is that he wasn’t that way when he was younger, if what Dad said is right.” He ran a hand through his hair. “My uncle hates me.”

“I’m...sure he doesn’t,” Poe said, awkwardly.

“You haven’t seen the way he looks at me sometimes. He doesn’t care for me, at least. If he loves me, it’s just an obligation.”

“Why?”

“Because of that darkness he saw in me. Whatever it was. He definitely gave more of a damn about his father than he did about me.” Ben took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I probably sound like a whiner.”

“Ben,” Poe said, softly, “You’re not a whiner.”

And looking at him, Ben appreciated him more. This was a man who, after all, understood him. This was a man who cared about him.

That he couldn’t say he expected.

He could say safely that he liked it. And he wanted more of it. 


End file.
